


amicitia semper prodest, amor et nocet

by Shinkukka



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Aged up characters, Angst, Canon compliant (kinda), M/M, Mentions of Death, Mentions of alcohol, Post-Canon, legal alcohol drinking, very hurt/slight comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2017-09-22
Packaged: 2019-01-04 03:53:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12161010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinkukka/pseuds/Shinkukka
Summary: "Wataru felt alive. After all, he only lived for the surprise that was [Amazing] nowadays."aka Hibiki Wataru knows exactly what he's doing, except when no one tells him what's going on.





	amicitia semper prodest, amor et nocet

The first thing Kanata noticed when he opens the door to Wataru’s apartment, is the dim glow coming from the television. It’s the only source of light in the otherwise dark apartment, but there’s no noise. He has a feeling it’s better to keep it that way, and just takes off his shoes without turning on any lights.

Quick walk to the living room brings him to a scene he has seen played out many times. Wataru asleep on the sofa, an empty glass and bottle on the table accompanied by a half empty bottle containing a clear liquid, television on a blue screen after whatever dvd-recording he had been watching had ended.

Kanata sighed as he shook his head.

The only thing he could do right now, was to lift Wataru up and carry him to his own bed to sleep. After that he could tidy up the living room and bring a glass of water to his bedside table with a few painkillers. Maybe he could even make something quick for Wataru to eat if the contents of his fridge allowed that.

Sometimes he wished Wataru would talk to them more about this, all of their small group of friends wished for that. But Wataru didn’t want to talk, and none of them had the heart to try to pry it out of him, not even Shu who usually was very upfront about things.

No one could help Wataru, and it was a fact none of them really wanted to acknowledge, but all of them knew that.

\-----

_“You know, I’ve always been wondering something,” the host started the next question, and Wataru knew what she was going to ask – after all, they had gone through the questions in the run through of the show. “With a career like yours, how have you managed to avoid scandals? Are you just that good at avoiding the paparazzi or is it really because you are such a workaholic? Or maybe we’ve never heard of a scandal because your agency is just_ that _good!”_

_He laughed at the joke with the other guests._

_They hadn’t been required to answer the questions during the run through, not seriously at least, so no one was really expecting any one answer. Many people had tried asking the same question before. He had never given an answer other than a half-hearted excuse of his career taking up all of his attention. Not this time._

_Wataru was tired of this question. He knew what the answer he was about to give would do, but right now, he didn’t care. He was going to play into his own hand,_

_“Like you said, I’ve been very dedicated to my career, but that’s not really the only reason I haven’t been caught in a relationship scandal.”_

_The whole studio seemed to go quiet out of sheer shock. He could feel the weight of his usual mask on his face again._

_“I had a lover back in high school I never forgot. We aren’t together anymore, but I guess you could say I never fell out of love,” he tilted his head slightly as he finished, and he seemed to have thrown everyone off their tracks._

_The host was staring with her mouth open for a few seconds before regaining her composure._

_“With that big reveal from one of the top actors of the country, Hibiki Wataru, we’re off to a commercial break. I think some of us really need one after a bomb of that caliber.”_

_Wataru felt alive. After all, he only lived for the surprise that was_ [Amazing] _nowadays, and dropping this information truly was_ Amazing _._

\-----

“Why don’t we stop exchanging these dull pleasantries and get to the real reason you’ve asked me to join you, my dearest Himegimi,” Wataru said, interrupting Tori mid-sentence.

For a few seconds, they sat there eyeing each other, before Tori put his coffee cup down onto the table.

“Fine. My father was very pleased with the last commercial you did for us, so he wanted me to discuss the possibility of you doing another one for us.”

“You don’t need to look after me, Himegimi, I’m more than capable of looking after myself.”

Wataru cursed himself as he found his real emotions slipping out from behind his mask.

“I’m not offering you the job because I’m looking after you, I’m offering you the job because I know you can do it well,” Tori almost spat out.

Even though he had grown up to be a formidable adult, one that they could be proud of, Wataru still found it hilarious that he could get a rise out of him like the old times.

“Still, shouldn’t you be asking those twin friends of yours instead? Are they not better suited for your concept than what I am, and from what I saw they work well,” Wataru tried to distract him. “Don’t you agree as well, Mr. Butler outside the door?”

Yuzuru walked in polished as always, and if he was embarrassed Wataru caught him listening in, he didn’t show it on his face. Through the years Wataru got slightly better at reading him, but he never once saw Yuzuru drop his mask like he had wanted him to.

Before Yuzuru was given the chance to answer the question Wataru had presented him with, Tori was back on his case.

“I’ve already talked with them because like you said, their work was as good as yours. That doesn’t change the fact that we also want you,” Tori said, waiting for Yuzuru to set down the snacks he had brought. “Besides, the twins would love to work with you again, they’ve idolized you since way back, longhair, you’re just blind to plain admiration even if it hits you in the face.”

Wataru let out a small chuckle. Tori wasn’t too far from the target with that, since he hadn’t really believed that there really were people looking up to him. Besides those who had looked up to him had always lost interest before long, most sooner than later, so at some point he had just started to not expect anything on that regard.

Finishing his coffee and picking up one muffin from the tray, Wataru got up to ruffle Tori’s hair.

“I’m not saying yes, but I’ll take a look at my schedule and leave a few days open if you really need me. After all, during that one year I raised you like my own son, if you’re troubled I’ll help you the best I can.”

All he could hear as he walked out of the room was Tori yelling “gross” at his back.

He didn’t make it far before Yuzuru caught up to him.

“The young master didn’t want to bring it up but I think you should know this,” he started, and that caught Wataru’s undivided attention.

“A few reporters have contacted the young master, some have even tried to ask me some questions, but neither of us have said anything. I even heard him tell one reporter off the other day.”

It took a moment for Wataru to connect the pieces.

“Ah. Please let me apologize for all the trouble I’ve caused you, I was kind of expecting this to happen but I didn’t think they’d come after you like this.”

“That is rather uncharacteristic for you, Hibiki-senpai. But do not worry, neither of us have said anything. I doubt anyone who knew about it will say anything. It isn’t our story to tell,” Yuzuru said, his expression softening a little. “If it wasn’t for the young master making sure he doesn’t miss a single appearance by you, we wouldn’t have had time to prepare for what was coming.”

If Yuzuru had tried to make him smile, he succeeded at that.

“What I wanted you to know, is that we’re on your side – so it’s okay to depend on us too, if you need to. It’s the least we can do after you looked after us,” Yuzuru finished.

Wataru turned to look out of the nearby window, staring into the distance.

“The baby bird we took under our wings has grown up into a magnificent dove, hasn’t he.”

Yuzuru said nothing, just watched over him until he made it out of the mansion.

\-----

_Every media outlet was in a buzz. Magazines were drafting headlines like “_ Hibiki Wataru’s unrequited love _” and “_ Hibiki Wataru reveals lingering affections _” but none of them had any content. Not a single magazine had been able to dig up information other than what the man himself had told on live television._

_Word went around, that any person able to unveil more of this mystery, was to be rewarded generously. After all, it was the first time there was an actual scoop on Hibiki Wataru that bordered a scandal._

_Even after digging through old records from Yumenosaki Academy, and contacting people who used to be on close terms with him, no one had gotten any wiser about the whole thing._

_\-----_

Hokuto and Tomoya were working on a play together for the first time since Hokuto’s graduation when everything went down.  They were an easy target since they regularly were at the same place at the same time, and you could easily link them to Wataru and his days at Yumenosaki.

Their strategy on how to deal with it was silently decided between them the moment the first shady information gatherer approached them.

“How well did you know Hibiki Wataru during your school years?” a reporter approached them a few steps away from the theatre.

Hokuto completely walked past the man, while Tomoya only gave him a glance before following after Hokuto. They made their way to the staff parking lot where Hokuto’s car was waiting for them. They had decided it was wiser for Tomoya to get a ride with Hokuto until things calmed down, though it was mostly Hokuto’s decision, to prevent anyone from grilling information out of the younger boy.

“I can’t believe it’s several years after graduation, and he’s still putting me through unpleasant stuff,” Tomoya sighed when they were safely on the road, and out of range for any kind of unwanted listeners.

Hokuto almost smiled but decided against it not wanting to offend the younger boy.

“Take it as a character building exercise, if you ever make it as big as him, you’ll need to learn how to deal with flies,” was what he went with.

Eyes on the road Hokuto couldn’t really see it, but he was very sure Tomoya made a face at him.

“But still, for him to come out with it like that now of all time… Maybe this is a good sign, maybe he’s starting to get over it..?”

He wanted to agree with Tomoya so much. He wished that was the case. But he had never figured out the enigma that was Hibiki Wataru.

There was not a single reason that came to his mind for Hibiki Wataru to announce something like that on live television. Sure, it could be used to boost his popularity if he played his cards right, but he didn’t exactly need things like that, not with his ability. But if there was something Hokuto knew, from the drunken calls that hadn’t stopped, it was that Hibiki Wataru hadn’t started to get over this. The whole phenomenon was something Tomoya didn’t need to know about though.

“Yeah, maybe he is. It would be nice.”

\-----

At Yumenosaki Academy, if you walked by the infirmary after most of the club activities had ended, you could catch a glimpse of the school nurse still in his office. But occasionally, if you were extremely lucky, you could also find the brightest star of the film industry with him.

Wataru had made it a habit somewhere along the years. At first, he had just sent bottles of expensive alcohol to the infirmary he knew the school nurse would appreciate. Then at some point it had turned into him taking those bottles up to the infirmary himself, which had often ended up in sophisticated drinking sessions between him and the nurse.

Some days it helped him be at peace with himself. Most days it didn’t, but he appreciated the company of someone who seemed to understand him. Besides, Sagami Jin was all around a great drinking buddy.

“Oh yeah, Hibiki-kun, you wouldn’t be able to get tickets to that new production you’re working on for me? The missus really enjoys seeing you on stage y’know,” Jin said between drinks.

That earned a genuine laugh out of Wataru.

“You still call Akiomi your wife behind his back?”

“Not just behind his back, though he still keeps turning me down.”

The smile on Jin’s face was warm and loving, and it made Wataru feel a tiny stab in his heart.

“Well, he was always frank and strict with everything except his own feelings. Let me see what I can do about the tickets though, we don’t want you to get on the wifey’s bad side after all,” Wataru joked, sipping his drink. “Who knew that my biggest fan out of everyone from Yumenosaki would be Kunugi Akiomi of all the people.”

“Well, like you said, he’s never really open about his own feelings. I think he got rather attached to all of you, he just doesn’t like to admit it,” Jin hummed.

They both sat in silence for a few long moments.

“You know, sometimes I wonder why you still do this much for us, Hibiki. Or why you come to here of all places,” Jin said quietly.

Wataru grabbed his glass tighter, as he tried to calm his beating heart and gather his thoughts.

“Well, we actually owe you a lot. I sometimes wonder if you know how much you actually helped us back then. And even after several years, when you don’t need to do anything for me anymore, you still have my back. And about this place,” Wataru paused, glancing around the empty infirmary. “I… This place still calms me down. Despite everything that has happened, this place still holds most of the happy memories that haven’t turned into bittersweet poison.”

Sitting there, looking at Hibiki Wataru, knowing what the boy had been through, reminded Jin so much about himself that he swore again, by the name of all the gods that he could remember, that he’d someday find a way to help this boy find happiness again.

\-----

The people who got the shortest end of the stick in all this, were rest of the people formerly known as the Five Oddballs. Even with no records of the war left, they were still acknowledged as a group of friends to this day, and even the smallest digging into Yumenosaki would bring up their connections. That’s why they had also formed a protective bubble around Wataru.

They were on a 24/7 alert with Wataru, at least one person was aware of Wataru’s current whereabouts at all times, and a lot of the time they tried to accompany him.

Reporters who called Natsume only got cursed several times over with omens of ill future.

Reporters who called Shu would get nothing but curt insults thrown at them.

Reporters who called Kanata would end up with roundabout death threats on their name.

Reporters who called Rei didn’t get anything but a simple “fuck you” before the line shut.

Still, none of them could really blame Wataru for what he had done. They had gone through it all with him, and they knew how ugly it had been back then. They also knew that it had never really went away and that it never would. After all, there was no cure for a broken heart, not when the heart had been completely shattered.

With the line of his work, Shu was the one who was left with Wataru duty the most. He could easily get a backstage pass for any sets where Wataru was going to make an appearance under the guise of Wataru’s personal stylist. And honestly, it wasn’t that far off from the truth. If he was to let Wataru dress himself who knew what catastrophe would end up in front of the camera.

Today he was working with a make-up artist around their age called Miki-san – he only remembered her name because it was so close to Kagehira’s – who apparently was a newbie hired by Wataru’s agency. Shu had nothing ill to say about her skills with the brush, she was very promising for someone who was apparently on her first real job. What Shu did have a problem with, though, was her unprofessional attitude and fast mouth.

“So, Hibiki-san, are the rumors true? Your high school sweetheart dumped you and you’ve been pining after them all these years? Or was it a mutual decision but you found your heart beating for an old flame again? Is it still mutual but your lover had an arranged marriage and you couldn’t be together and split up because of that? Ohh if that’s the case did eloping ever cross your mind?” Miki-san started and the end seemed to be nowhere in the near future.

Before Shu managed to silence her, he heard Wataru let out a laugh.

“So that’s what the media has been pulling out of this. I’ve been far too busy to keep up with the latest issues so I had no idea they were taking it this far.”

“There are several different theories and speculations since no one seems to be able to find out any factual information.”

“Hm, maybe I should catch up with the tabloids, what they’ve come up sounds interesting. Who knows maybe it’ll even offer me some new inspiration,” Wataru hummed.

Shu could see Miki-san’s eyes glistening. For now, he’d let Wataru handle this. There weren’t many people he trusted like Wataru’s judgement after all.

“You know, some magazines have been writing that your story isn’t true at all, but just something you came up,” Miki-san said, almost too nonchalantly.

“Oya, and what’s your opinion on those articles then, if I may ask, Miki-chan?”

For a few seconds, it looked like Wataru had thrown her off her game, but she gathered herself surprisingly fast.

“I don’t think you’re bluffing. Sure, you’re not telling the whole story, but I think it’s because you’re trying to protect someone. Maybe even yourself? Although in that case you could’ve just kept quiet about the whole thing instead of letting it out I guess…”

Wataru gave her a genuine smile and Shu could feel his heart melt a little. How long had it been since his last genuine emotion that wasn’t sadness or anger? Shu was sure none of the oddballs could name a moment without thinking about it at first.

“Well, I can tell you that every single word in that broadcast was the genuine truth. None of it is made up,” Wataru said, before getting up from the chair.

Shu was sure that if Wataru and him weren’t in the room at that moment, Miki-san would’ve probably bounced around out of sheer excitement.

When Wataru was on the set, Shu decided it was his turn to move. He pulled Miki-san aside, to have a very curt word with her. He wanted to make the message very clear.

“You might think it isn’t much, but if a single word that comes out of Wataru’s mouth in private makes its way to the ears of the press before someone I know is a trustful source speaks up, you can kiss your career goodbye because I _will_ make sure no one will ever want to hire you again.”

\-----

Every December, Wataru got a moderate bouquet of light pink carnations mixed with different flowers to match it. If he wasn’t able to get one himself, Shu would get one for him and send it with whoever was picking him up.

This year it was Rei’s turn, and when he got to Wataru’s apartment, his wristwatch was showing him it was five thirty-five in the morning. Wataru wanted to be there right before sunrise, so he could be the first to visit. It also meant he most likely wouldn’t run into anyone else visiting.

Rei was grateful Wataru had asked them to accompany him during the first year. He knew it was because he didn’t want to go alone, he was sure they all knew that.

He knocked on the door before opening it with his copy of the key. He got slightly startled when he found Wataru sitting almost right behind the door. Rei was about to ask why he hadn’t said anything when he knocked, but he soon noticed that Wataru was staring into the distance.

Crouching in front of Wataru, Rei finally opened his mouth, a soft voice breaking the silence of the dark apartment.

“Wataru. You okay to go?”

It took a few seconds for Wataru to snap out of whatever trance he was in.

“Oh. It was just you Rei. Yes, we should make haste so that we won’t be late. You know he likes being punctual,” Wataru said, voice quiet and a little distant.

Rei just offered him a nod and got up.

They drove in silence save for the quiet noise from the radio. It was some rock CD Koga had forgotten to his car again, but Rei didn’t mind. It was better than some radio station playing a song that would disturb Wataru’s train of thought.

Traffic was quiet that early in the morning so it was barely six in the morning when Rei pulled up to the empty parking lot.

“The flowers are in the back. Shu dropped them off last night, pink carnations in the middle just like you want them,” he said, bringing Wataru out of his thoughts again. “I’m sure he’ll like them.”

It was still somewhat dark outside but it wouldn’t be too long before the first rays of the morning sun would be visible in the horizon. Rei watched Wataru get the flowers before locking the car doors and heading to the gates. He could feel Wataru’s presence behind him.

“I’ll get the water and catch up with you, is that fine with you?” he asked when they had made it past the gates.

“Yes, you know the way, right?” Wataru asked him back.

After receiving a nod, Wataru made his way further in. This was when his brain usually switched into autopilot, his legs walking him through the stone labyrinth, taking him where his heart longed to be.

Not five minutes later, he found himself standing in front of a familiar stone.

Choking back tears, Wataru crouched down to touch the cold stone with the tips of his fingers.

“I’m back, Eichi.”

 

When Rei caught up to him, he didn’t mention the barely visible tear streaks on Wataru’s cheeks, and he was thankful for that. He started cleaning the grave while Rei held the flowers for him. It wasn’t that Rei didn’t want to help, it was that Wataru wanted to do it himself. It had become a routine for him.

After he was done, Rei offered him the flowers and set up the incense sticks that Wataru had brought, lighting them. When Wataru poured water over the grave, Rei slowly brought his hands together, and closed his eyes.

_It’s been another year, hasn’t it, Tenshouin Eichi-sama. I’m sure Wataru will be telling you more of what has happened in the last year, so I’ll keep it short. He made it through the year surprisingly well. The only notable thing worth of really mentioning is that he told the whole country about you in his own roundabout way, so you probably understand when I say I’m still worried about him._

_I’m scared he’ll do something stupid, so please, I’m begging you, do not take Wataru to yourself yet. Please let us have him for a while longer._

When he was finished, he looked at Wataru, hands still clasped together and eyes closed. Gently, he ruffled his hair a little, before giving him some space. Besides this way, he could keep his eye on other possible visitors and hopefully prevent another funeral episode from happening.

None of the other oddballs knew what had actually happened back then. They had all decided it was better to not leave Wataru alone that night, so they had waited for him to come back at his apartment. What none of them had expected, was for Wataru to come back with a swelling cheek and a barely split lip.

Wataru had curled up on the sofa and it had taken them a while to get him positioned so that Shu was able to clean his lip and he could hold an ice pack against his cheek. It had taken them even longer to find out who did it.

“It was glasses-kun. He slapped me and I turned the other cheek. Somehow he got even angrier because of that and actually punched me.”

They didn’t manage to get more than that out of him, and Rei had to spend the next twenty minutes calming down Kanata and Natsume so they didn’t do anything drastic.

“Don’t worry about it,” Wataru had said after the other two had calmed down. “I asked Kiryu-kun to take me home after that.”

After Wataru had finished his sentence, he grinned like he had told the most glorious punchline, before the tears caught up to him again.

Rei didn’t like remembering that night. It had reminded him of how humane they all were, and how fragile Wataru really was beneath his various masks. That was why he wanted to give Wataru the alone time he needed, without any unwanted interruptions.

\-----

_On a dark December afternoon, Sakasaki Natsume had gotten a letter addressed to himself and three others into his hands. The moment he first held it, he knew who the letter was from, and he didn’t need his clairvoyant abilities to know that. With shaky hands, he tore the envelope open and began to read._

To Sakuma Rei-sama, Shinkai Kanata-sama, Itsuki Shu-sama, and Sakasaki Natsume-sama,

If one of you is reading this letter, it seems my untimely demise must have finally caught me, and I’m no longer inhabiting the same world as you all. That being the case, you all must be wondering, why you are reading a letter from me of all people. I won’t sugar-coat our relationship; I doubt we would’ve ever been able to call each other friends on any level. But we all do have one thing in common. We all care about Wataru.

That’s why, I’ve written this letter to you. I ask from all four of you, please look after Wataru in my stead. I know you’d do that without me asking, but please humor me here. Knowing you will be reading this letter gives me the peace of mind that I need, for all will be well as long as I can close my eyes knowing my Wataru will be cared for. I’ve written similar letters to other people as well, but you four are the people closest to Wataru. You are the only people I can trust him with.

I’ve also included a letter addressed to Wataru in the envelope. I’ll trust your best judgement on handing it to him. Maybe it’s best to let him deal with his own feelings first. In case you want to know what is written in his letter, you are free to open it and read through it. Dead people can’t feel embarrassed after all. That and I have no reason to hide my feelings and thoughts from you. Not anymore.

Yours truly,  
Tenshouin Eichi.

_Natsume felt sick. He felt sick and he wanted to crumble up the letter and burn it. But he didn’t. He folded the letter neatly and placed it back in the envelope._

_Thoughts raced in his mind. Should he share this with the other three the letter was directed to? Should he keep the existence of this letter all to himself?_

_Eichi was right about them. They’d look after Wataru even without him asking them to. Him staying quiet about the letter wouldn’t change the outcome. Besides, he had already kept important information from them before, it wouldn’t be his first offense._

_He had decided back in his second year, that next time, next time he’d be the one to protect them._

_Shuffling around the room, Natsume held the envelope gently in his hands, making sure he didn’t crumble it. He wouldn’t touch the letter addressed to Wataru tonight. Maybe he wouldn’t ever open it. Maybe he’d let Wataru eventually be the person to open it. For now, he needed a place to keep the letters safe._

_Emptying an old jewelry box his mother had given him that was big enough to fit the letters, he calmed his head. This was for the best. He’d carry this burden in place of everyone else._

_He locked the box, adding the key to it into the same bundle where he kept all his other keys._ So I won’t lose it, _he thought to himself._

_It was for the better, he convinced himself._

_It would all work out like this._

**Author's Note:**

> amicitia semper prodest, amor et nocet - friendship always benefits, love sometimes injures  
> pink carnations - i'll never forget you, remembrance
> 
> honestly? I know nothing about theater club.  
> everything is unbeta'd so I'm sorry for any big mistakes.
> 
> is this my best work? probably not even close.


End file.
